The Sacred Fire
The Sacred Fire: Women, Anger, and Why It’s Time We Let It Burn (Right)
Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable people get when a woman is angry?
It’s like society has written a silent rule: Women can be soft, kind, joyful… but not angry. Never angry. We can be radiant, successful, nurturing — but if we raise our voice or take up space with raw emotion, suddenly we're “too much.”
But anger is a real, valid, human emotion. And when it’s not expressed, it doesn’t just go away. It gets buried. And buried anger doesn’t die — it mutates. That’s where rage comes in: years of suppressed, ignored, or shamed anger that eventually explodes.
🔹 From a Psychotherapy Perspective
In psychotherapy, we learn that anger is a core emotion — not a problem, but a signal. It tells you:
A boundary has been crossed. A need is unmet. A value is violated.
When women aren't allowed to express that signal, the body often pays the price. Autoimmune issues, anxiety, burnout, digestive problems, fatigue — they’re all red flags of emotional energy trapped in the system.
Anger becomes dangerous only when it’s shamed, ignored, or forced to hide.
🔹 From a Personal Perspective: Corporate Fury & Sacred Fire
When I worked in corporate, I used to get so angry. At times, I felt I might actually explode.
I was managing teams and constantly battling directors over budget cuts, unrealistic deadlines, and bonuses for my staff. I remember being told, “You’re the only team manager who always gets her way about bonuses.” And I thought — damn right I do. Not because I was difficult, but because I was relentlessly protective. I used my anger as fuel. To advocate. To fight. To hold the line.
That’s what people often don’t get: anger can be channelled. You can direct it. You can ride it. You can use it to make real things happen.
And I learned something wild: there’s a difference between head anger and belly anger.
Head anger is quick, unhinged, and reactive. It’s the kind you often regret later.
But belly anger? That’s different. That’s sacred. It comes from a deep place of truth. It’s balanced. Clear. Fierce, but grounded.
Looking back, I realize something deeper was happening:
Who knew that in my corporate days, I was actually preparing to channel kundalini energy?
That fire in my belly — it wasn’t just frustration or stress. It was activation.
Kundalini rises from the base and moves up like a snake, and when it hits your stomach, it can feel like intense fire.
Back then, I didn’t have the language for it. I just knew I couldn’t stay silent.
🔹 Quantum Science: Energy in Motion
From a quantum perspective, everything is vibration — including emotions. Anger is just another form of energy. When suppressed, it stagnates and can manifest in the body as illness or emotional disconnection.
But when it’s allowed to move — through voice, movement, boundaries, creativity — it becomes transformational. Not destructive. Evolutionary.
Anger has frequency. And when we honor it instead of fearing it, we can transmute it into something constructive, even visionary.
🔹 Love & Soul Perspective: Anger as Love in Armor
From a soul view, anger is often love wearing armor.
It says:
“This isn’t okay.”
“I deserve better.”
“I’m protecting what matters.”
It’s a defense of the sacred. A fire that purifies. Not to burn others, but to burn away lies, betrayals, and what no longer serves.
When expressed with balance and care, anger doesn’t destroy — it clarifies. It reveals the truth.
🔹 But Still... Why Are We So Uncomfortable With It?
Let’s just say it plainly:
Patriarchy is uncomfortable with women’s power.
And anger is power.
When a woman expresses sacred, embodied anger — she’s undeniable. She becomes fully present. Fully awake. And that shakes things. Systems. People. Roles.
Even people who claim to be calm or evolved can flinch when a woman is truly angry. Why? Because they’re not used to seeing that kind of raw truth. Especially not from someone they’ve been trained to expect compliance from.
🔹 Anger in Public? Heaven Forbid.
Let me give you a laugh.
I was at the dentist the other day, and this man absolutely lost it. Screaming at the receptionist over something with his appointment. Honestly, I was like — wow. He’s really pissed.
He stormed out of the building, yelling, then came back in with demands. The receptionist stayed calm, and the dentist calmly talked him down — no judgement, no confrontation. They held space for his anger without fueling it.
And it worked.
Before I left, I actually congratulated the receptionist for staying so grounded. On my next visit, I did the same for the dentist. Because that kind of calm in the face of fire? That’s real skill. That’s emotional intelligence in action.
And it reminded me:
You can’t fight fire with fire.
You can’t fight anger with anger.
You meet it with the opposite force.
🔹 So… What Is the Opposite of Anger?
Such a rich question.
Some say calm — the ability to regulate your nervous system.
Others say compassion — to see the pain underneath the fury.
And some say curiosity — a way of saying, “Tell me what’s really going on.”
But I’d offer this: the opposite of unprocessed anger is presence.
The ability to stand your ground and say:
“I see your fire. And I’m not afraid of it.”
And you know what? That’s something we can start modelling early.
Sometimes I say to my son when he’s angry:
‘I see that you’re angry, and it’s okay.’
That one sentence… it’s not fixing, it’s not shaming, it’s not rushing. It’s just witnessing.
And in that witnessing, something softens. Something shifts.
Because yes — it’s okay to be angry. But we also have to remember:
It’s about how we express it.
To me, safely expressing anger means:
Not physically harming someone.
Not making others feel unsafe or threatened.
Letting the energy move without violence, without suppression.
And what about the anger that protects?
You hear stories of women so full of fury and love, they walk through fire to save their children. That’s not rage — that’s sacred defence. That’s the kind of anger that says:
“Nothing will stop me from protecting what I love.”
It’s not dangerous.
It’s divine.
🔹 Final Word: Let It Burn — But Let It Be Sacred
We don’t need less anger in the world.
We need more conscious, grounded, embodied anger.
Anger that tells the truth.
Anger that fights for the voiceless.
Anger that says "Not on my watch."
Because when we let anger be sacred, it becomes liberation.
And that’s not something to fear.
That’s something to honour.
Lots of love always,
Nicoline C Walsh
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